Our Year of Revolving Doors

Last Post of 2010

2010-12-29T13:49:00.002-05:00

Well, this year is coming to a close. Each year I print my blog out with blurb.com and it becomes my little journal for that years events. This is my closing post for this year. I'll actually be taking this blog totally offline and starting anew since I don't really have the funds (or time) at the moment to put together my book.

I don't have many dreams or ideas for this coming year. Sure, I say it and then when I actually think of it there are so many 'plans' that I have brewing around in my head. I would love to stay committed to the monthly get togethers. I don't think it will be hard at all. January seemed to be the hardest party to plan. With the ending of all the holiday season craziness you don't want to do anything too extreme but who wants the first party of the year to be a flop. I finally decided to go with a low kep popcorn party since there is a popcorn holiday thing in Jan. Keep a look out for further posts when the party starts getting together. Then there is the dream of getting my body back and getting it into shape. The possiblility of cloth diapering. Taking my crafts to a whole other level and maybe doing a little booth this summer at some of the market nights. I'd actually love to get together with a few other talented ladies whom I know and we can all go in and have a blast doing it, we could have a craft club vs a book club. I guess I do have a lot of dreams for the coming year.

A few things are certain though. We will be having our little Mikayla join our craziness. I wonder how her being will change all of our lives. I can't wait to see the boys with her and see them become big brothers to a little sister. What else is certain? I will be turning 27! Blah! I have always thought of 27 as finally being older. 30 or course is old. I will have my first calling in the church outside of primary. That is kind of exciting for me... we'll see how it goes. Stephen will have his first primary calling without me helping him (directly at least). He's pretty nervous about that but I am positive that he will be amazing! It's funny. I can ramble off a million possibilities of the year to come but the certainties... not so many. Oh, Zack will start Kindergarten (gulp) today I told Stephen that we needed to schedule his school physical appt and Zack's face lit up as he exclaimed "Really, are you sure!" We had to explain that he won't start for quite a few months but yes, he will be starting real school soon. I know we will have lots of fun and probably a few hard times but we're pretty excited!

Either way... Here's to 2011!! Seemed like so long ago I thought 2010 would never get here and I would be in the Army forever. Now it's almost 2011 and it is just a reminder of how quickly time passes and there is nothing we can do to slow it down so we should just Love, Laugh and have Fun while we have our Family, Friends and Health to Enjoy Life with!

New Blog

http://cottoncandyclouds2011.blogspot.com/

2010-12-26T21:42:00.000-05:00

Christmas time was here again. The kids both woke up and went straight into our room as if it was any other day of the year. Stephen and I had both been awake all night with excitement so we took all the snuggles we could get and relaxed for a bit. Soon the "I wanna eat"'s came so I took it as my que to remind them what day it was. I asked Zack if he had checked to see if Santa had come and told him that it was Christmas day. He's been a little confused since all the Christmas photos have tons of snow and instead we have sunshine. This is where my heartbreak comes in. Zack asked if we had paid for Christmas. I was a little puzzled and asked him to explain it too me. He asked if I had paid for Santa to come and bring him presents. Is this the begining of the end of the belief in Santa? I explained that Santa is magical and you don't pay for him. He was still a little puzzled but I think that it's just his way of filtering all the times I have been telling him no we can't buy this or that because of money... who knows. Well, we all suited up and made the treck into the living room to begin the opening of the presents. I don't know what it was about this year but the kids weren't that into unwrapping the gifts. Maybe it was their new powerwheels jeep that I stood and waited 3 hours for on black friday taking the attention away from all the wrapped gifts but Toph mostly just watched Zack and once he got a gift that he really liked (Diego play station) he was done with the whole presents thing. Zack ended up basically unwrapping all but 3 gifts or so. We hung out for a while before heading up to Grandma Carols where we napped, went sledding, cooked, played games, laughed and had fun. All in all it was a great Christmas. I just fear that Zack may be reaching that age. I can't personally remember when I learned that Santa wasn't real. Stephen was told by a child at school and when he asked his Grandma she told him that if he didn't believe then he wouldn't get any presents from him. Needless to say, Stephen still believes in Santa! It's hard to see my baby boy growing up so fast. Now blame the whole mushyness of this post on the baby in the belly who may finally have a name. She hasn't been my easiest pregnancy and has definetly been a drain on my brain. I used to be able to smoke Stephen in a game of scabble and now I find myself grasping just to make out a 4 letter word (giving me about... 4 points.. UGH). She has added to my pain, taken from my brain and brought me a lot of fear with a lot of joy. Mikayla is for sure her first name. Ann is possible for her middle name. My middle name is Ann after my Grandmother who I think may share the same middle name as her mother. Well, dinner time. more later

2010-12-21T23:51:00.000-05:00

I really want to blog but I am so tired. I want to express all the feeling, emotions and thoughts that I have racing through my head but as I type it out it looks a little crazy. The funny thing is that things seem to be settling down and smoothing out so it shouldn't look so coo coo. Oh well. I guess this will do and when I am a little more... lively... I'll sit down and hopefully my words will flow a little more smoothly. Till then.. My boys with the frog Daddy found = )

Reindeer

2010-12-17T19:19:00.001-05:00

We had a Friend come over and tried to do some crafts with the kids since it's rainy out and we couln't really have some fun outside. The boys all made about 1 reindeer but they were not very interested in the craft. Stephen and I decided to finish some out for our primary class but that turned into us getting a little creative and making a whole reindeer Family. Enjoy our creations.

Stephen working on his reindeer

Christopher got ahold of the camera... he is quite the photographer. Both these photos were al'a him

Our Married Couple

Grandma Betty

The Hippy

Our Princess

Zoolander

The Goth

The Whole Fam Bam

Princess, Hippy, Goth

Married, Grandma, Zoolander

We sure had alot of fun making the creations. Wish the kids had as much fun, maybe next time : )

New Years Coming

2010-12-16T11:04:00.000-05:00

Here's what I am going to try and get going this year. This is a copy of the email I sent out to some local Friends. I'm pretty excited about it. Even if I don't get any participants I'm gonna host it all my self. This year I'm taking some time out to P-A-R-T-Y!!

        I recently read a book called 'Permission to Party'. After reading the book I made a self realization that I don't really take the time out to Celebrate Life like I used to. The days seem to run together and often I find myself with another hour, month or year passed and I'm sitting on the Eve of the New Year wondering where it all went so fast.

       Following the reading of the book I decided that I would like to try and take some time out and have a get together once a month with Friends to help take some time out to Celebrate Life. This doesn’t mean some extravagant party that the hostess is stressing about the guest list, food or entertainment. This is more of a community party. A Soup Party in the Fall where everyone brings an ingredient and we hang out while everything simmers up. A Cake and Treats get together in February giving into a little sweet indulgences. Let's counteract all the April Fools Jokes with a Good Karma Party where we can hang out and make Fortune Cookies, Goodies and Notes for Friends and then doorbell ditch them to brighten someone’s day. Maybe on a Cool June morning we could get together and take a small hike up these inspirational mountains and take time to Journal as Sisters and Friends and re-connect with Nature. The ideas are endless. I am really excited, motivated and inspired by this book and the idea to give myself (and you) the Permission to Party.
       After mentioning this to a Friend she had suggested that this could do a rotating party where we all take turns hosting and bringing in our own individual ideas. If your interested in participating let me know. As a previously working Mother and a now Stay at Home Mother I can empathies with the feelings of 'What about me, I work' or 'My husband works and I have my kids'. My intentions with this is to try to include everyone as much as possible. Maybe we could plan some events in the evening or weekends, make things kid friendly (or at least have a kids zone where the kids can play while we party) or even open it up to the whole Family sometimes letting the Men feel included, we'll do what we can. Everyone can't always be accommodated but we can try. Remember, this is to help us celebrate life and each other. If your interested let me know and if you already have a thought of when you may want to do it just give a shout. It think this should be fun and if your not up for hosting know that you are still invited! I look forward to your feedback and thoughts!! (also since I don't have everyone on my FB feel free to fw: this along to those whom I have missed please!!!!)
Charly

The Ever Growing List

2010-12-14T23:55:00.002-05:00

This will most likely be added to as we continue to think of names but here are a few considerations that I should probably record so I don't forget that there were some names that I found bearable. Naming a Girl is HARD work!!

Emmalee Joy Martin (disclaimer. I LOVE Emma but I think it's to short and if she's Emily then she can't use Emma. Then there's Emmaly but come on, that just doesn't even look right! But I think that this name, as femanine as both the names are, looks so manly and doesn't quite fit. We've also thought of the middle name to be, Nichole, Grace, Bella, Rae and Paige)

Makayla Jane Martin (she could be MJ which I think is cute it all would mean 'Who is God and God is Gracious')

Mikayla Ann-Marie Martin
Mikayla Nicole Martin

Ashley Nichole Martin (I like them both but we are a nick name kind of Family. Ash isn't a good enough shorter name and Ashy... I just think of elbows and knee's.. ewww. Love Nichole but I'm not really feeling it for the first name)

Alexandra
Mackenzie

Some names that I think are Sooo cool but Stephen won't even consider...
Sunday Rain Martin (kinda hippy, would probably spell rain different though)
Leona Jane Martin (Leona is his great great grandmother (maybe one more great)

there are so many more but nothing fits and I'm too tired to type any more right now. any input would be MUCH appreciated. Any names that you think would match with Martin... Go for it!! I need some Major Help!!

Some Jibber Jabber..... I'm a little ill!

2010-12-12T15:09:00.000-05:00

For some reason, everytime I get pregnant I get a little morbid. I can't help but feel like I'm going to die and leave my Family behind. It's super weird but without fail it happens everytime. I think, mostly, about who will I leave the kids to if something happened to both Stephen and I. It's pretty terrifying since I am pretty particular as to how I want the kids raised and how I want them to feel. With each pregnancy I make it out alive and after a few months the thoughts of death etc seem to dwindle away and I can re-focus on everyday things (rather then drive super careful to the grocery store... lol). Yes, I know I am slightly coo coo!
Either way these feelings have come one again and I can't ignore them. Earlier today I was scamming through some stuff and I saw something about a bucket list. I've decided that since I stay home and have a lot of time on my hands (hahahahaha) or so it should seem. I would like to put together a bucket list of things and really work toward a goal. Sure I have everyday goals that I try to get accomplished but they are usually boring things like Brush my Teeth, Shower, Fold Laundry, Mop the Floors. Nothing Fun, exciting and re-juvinating. I've decided that this won't be my huge list like live abroad or travel to spain but rather a smaller one to help enhance my life. Things like have a get together with Friends once a month. I'm thinking little parties like in the fall everyone bring an ingredient and we'll make soup and play games while it cooks or see something unique and only found in the area where we are (like those odd tourist attractions that none of the locals ever visit, for us it was called the space needle when we lived near seattle. We still can't believe that we lived there for nearly 4 years and never went to it). I've lived in S. Cal for a majority of my life and never seen the sidewalk stars. I dunno. I feel like these times in our lives pass by so fast and I want to get as much in as I can. I can remember once someone saying that the the biggest jobs in heaven will be for farmers and singers (or at least that's the only thing I remember from their speil) and I though... man, I am done for. I figure I'm going to have a lot of practicing and learning to do when I die so I better do some fun stuff now! lol.. can you tell by this post that I am kinda sick and probably really dehydrated. lol. I can not be held accountable for anything I'm saying. haha...
(also, for the record... we have no clue where the kids would go... lets hope we can stay alive till their old enough to fend for themselves... or we all go down together!! lol)

Happy 5th Birthday Party Zack!!

2010-12-12T14:11:00.001-05:00

Well, Zacks party was a hit! Unfortunely I was ill with food poisoning and didn't realize till Cake and Present time that I had not taken any photos. I'm going to have to beg some of the parents who I saw shooting pics for a copy.
Zacks party was Ben 10 themed. The party started with all Zacks Friends decorating a circle shaped cookie to be as close to an Omnitrex as they could get. After they had done their cookies I told them how the enemy aliens were attacking the house and I needed them to help Ben 10 (Zack in costume) to protect the house and destroy the aliens. Stephen had made a rubberband gun from a wooden dowel and a couple clothes pins. The kids took turns in a few groups shooting a painting of different aliens off the fireplace mantel in our front porch. After a while I had to break the bad news. They had not defeated the aliens in time and a few of Bens Friends were frozen. The kids then had another group game where they worked together to free 3 bionicles from a block of ice. This game was the biggest hit! There were 3 buckets of warm water at one end of the driveway and 3 frozen bionicles at the other end of the driveway. Each kid got to have a small cup of water and they all had to work together to free their guy. It took about 15-20 min or so but they all had a blast the whole time and worked together. It was great. Lastly they went on a hunt to find the alien ball (papermache balls) and got to break them open to get their prize (bouncy ball inside) which they all liked because what kid does not enjoy breaking things!? They went crazy smashing them and throwing them trying to break them open. Then we played pin the watch on Ben 10 and followed it all up with cake and presents.
I hadn't been sure about how it would all play out time wise and had a few tricks up my sleeve in case we had to fill in some time but by the unwrapping of the last present it was 3 on the dot. It also worked out because if a child didn't really want to participate they were happy enough to just play in the playroom with all the toys. I was so Thankful to have my Sister here and my Wonderful Husband to help me otherwise (with as sick as I was) I would not have made it. After the last guest left I changed into pajamas and collapsed on the couch! GG came by shorly after that and we hung out for a while before the kids played with all their new treasures from their Friends and Family and then went off to bed.
I think that his party went great and he was so happy to be able to have his Friends come over and hang out. Thank you all who came and had fun and Happy 5th Birthday Party to my Amazing Zackary!! Here's to tomorrow when your officially 5!!

As Zack unwrapped Stephen would place them behind the bench and shortly into the unwrapping Christopher discovered this area and was playing with all the presents.

You can kind of see the "Aliens" on the mantle on the porch out the window.

Each kid had a gift bag and got to take home their rubberband guns (in the bags), they were pretty nifty.

Ben10 and all his presents!

This is how the night ended! Me on the couch and Toph playing in my 'Just in Case you Don't Make it Bucket'. He's my little 'Jacob', always shirtless... lol

Pin the Watch on Ben10

Shooting the Aliens

Free'ing Bens Friends

They all did so good working together.

Destorying their Alien Ball.

Day 7

2010-12-08T10:37:00.000-05:00

I'm totally bummed that I didn't bring my camera last night, but, we went to Murrieta for our Day 7 advent event... Make Gingerbread Houses. It was a free event put on by Parks and Recs that a Friend told us about. The kids got to make gingerbread houses, have hot chocolate and cookies, watch a puppet show, see Santa and a Christmas bear, and have a great time with some great Friends... cost to Mom and Dad... Free! I Love community events! When we were leaving with our amazing creations in hand Zackary said that it was the best pary ever! Toph had a blast pulling off the gummy bears nearly as fast as Dad was putting them on his house. Looking forward to Breakfast with Santa on Sat and the Christmas party at the Fingerprints museum on Fri! I love the Holidays!

Love!

2010-12-08T10:20:00.002-05:00

Early morning love is the best. Here are the boys watching Shrek 3 (at 6am). I love my Early Risers!

Day 5

2010-12-08T10:19:00.000-05:00

As part of this years Christmas celebrations we started a Family Events Advent Calendar (previous post). On day 5 our envelope had 'Make your own Ice Cream Sunday!" We had everything out on the counter and ready for the boys to create what they wanted. The best was the homemade whip cream!! YUM!!!!! Here are some photos.

We finished with a story on Zacks Super Tiny bed... can you tell we were squished!!? Made for extra special cuddles though : )

My Little Explorers

2010-12-08T10:12:00.000-05:00

I've been collecting toilet and paper towel rolls for a little while now and doing little crafts with the kids. It's amazing what you can create with some of your own recycled material in your house. Here was our day of exploring with the kids' binaculars (sp), they picked out their rolls and painted them (Toph with a little help), put them together, and then we were on our way.

Christopher loved looking for his big brother at the park, he would stand around and look yelling "Zacky!!!!!, Where are you!!!" so sweet!

He finally found him and was so excited and proud!

Looking for Mom

Lastly here are some shots from my Photographer in the making. Our next project is making him a super cool cardboard camera... It's going to be soooo cool and will give my poor camera a break from all the dropping and lense fingerprints. Toph loves taking pictures!

Lake Elsinore

2010-12-08T10:03:00.000-05:00

As most anyone can tell you... If there's something fun to do, we are always down to do it. Since we don't have the ease of having all the community events posted on one web site like we did in VA, we have to look a little harder to find some fun (free) stuff to do here. We recently went to Lake Elsinore to join in their Christmas celebrations. They brought in tons of snow for the kids to sled on (didn't go sledding though since Christopher was sick so probably not the best thing for him to do), had donkey rides and tons of kids crafts as well as all the main st stores being open with aweasome stuff to look at (tons of Victorian type stores, so pretty all in white) It would have been a little more enjoyable but Toph was sick and running a bit of a fever which took us 20 min to find tylenol to bring the fever down (found some spanish tylenol at the carneceria which smelt and tasted worse then bubble but worked AMAZINGLY!) and another hour or so for the meds to fully kick in. Here are some photos of our fun time!

He was not a Happy Camper and Definetly did not want Mom snapping photos of his unhappiness.

Doesn't he Toph look miserable! In this photo neither would smile so we had to break out the "Smile or we're going home!" Now I just need to add in "No squinty eyes Zack!"... Boys! : )

Zack's hat, glue wasn't dry so he couldn't wear it... it's a face, he did it all on his own and was very proud. There were a lot of other crafts there that he did on his own too. He's getting so big!

Bounce!

Wanting to go see Santa

Santa coming down the road in the fire truck. Zack was so excited and was waving and yelling Hi like crazy. Toph, of course, was my ever watchful child and just looked and looked.

I finally gave up on trying to get a good photo and settled for a "just fold your arms and stand there" one : ) In the end we all had a great time!

December is Here!!

2010-12-02T09:47:00.002-05:00

     I'm really excited for Christmas this year. Zack has been really excited for months and constantly asks how long until the big days (he also has his Birthday Dec 13th). This year we decided to try something new for our countdown. I saw it Here from Pink and Green Mama. Ours has not been totally completed, I still need to sting it all together, but we opened our first envelope yesterday and got to have a movie night together. We went and saw Tangled, which was Really good, and snuggled together in the theater (us and only 3 other people) relaxing and taking a time out together. When Zack realied that it was now December first he instantly started mubleing :today is number one, how many till thirteen? one, two, three: then his words got louder and he finally asked us how long until his Birthday.
     He is really excited about this one because it will be the first one where his friends will be in attendance. We have always done small Family parties (most the time just consisting of us and the kids) and it's always been really special, but, Zack is getting older and has asked to have a big party this year with all of his Friends. He has helped me plan a lot of the activities and do some of the little projects that we can get done ahead of time. While we shopped for Christopher's party stuff last month I could see (and sometimes hear) Zack planning for his own party to come, let's just say that this kid is excited and that has gotten me a little excited for him too!
     So, things are still progressing along and I am excited to say that I have an appt with the doc today. It will be nice to finally be seen and make sure all is well with this little one. I'll post some more updates later! Till then... : )

We're Thankful!

2010-11-25T13:24:00.001-05:00

This month I got an idea from a Friends blog. They had their 'I'm Thankful' board and throughout the month they would be writing down different things they were Thankful For. When I saw this I wanted my Family to also spend this month thinking about their blessings and the many things we can be Thankful. Below are the things we came up with. This is something that we will definetly keep as a November Tradition. Happy Thanksgiving!

Daddy:

Good Tylenol, Everything, Mommy, Snuggles, Secrets, Family Game Night, 3 Day Week, 4 Day Weekends, Home, Time off Work, Time Off, Game Night, Family Home Evening, Building Legos with my Boys, Sleeping in with Mommy.
Mommy:
Life, Poop, Nap Time, Hot Water, Being done with the Chores for the Day, Sunshine, The Baby Moving, Quiet Time, Good Sleep, Great Family, Girls Night, Church, Daddy Helping me out Lately, Pajamas, a Warm House, Understanding People, To be Done Cleaning, Gracery Shopping with Only 1 Monster, Friendship, Little Secrets, Being done with the DMV and Cell Phones, Sleep, Yummy Smells, The nice Man at the Grocery store who Gave me his Cart, All of my Family Stephen, Zackary, Christopher, Apollo and Baby.
Zackary:
Yummy Spaghetti Dinner, Christopher that he can Live, That I Love You, Toph got lots of toys (birthday) and I only got one but I am Thankful for it, A Baby Brother, Yummy Cookies, Cereal and Race Car Track, That Auntie Cathy and Michael are Staying with Us, My Mamma, Mommy, My Mom and Dad going to Church today, Playing games as a Family, Warm Pajamas, A Good Dad, For Mom, Going to Church.
Christopher:
Zuba (climbing? he was watching Diego), My Daddy, Toto, Baba's, Coloring, Oso Superman, Green, No Buzzlightyear Cars, Zacky, Great Birthday, Superman, Mommy and T.V., No Yes Hmm.
Guests who Signed out Board:
Catherine: When Things go as Planned, My Family and Having time to Spend with Them,
Katrina: Great Friends
Andrea: The Gospel

Disapearing Pizza

2010-11-23T09:55:00.003-05:00

Last night Zack was getting another piece of pizza from the box when I knew he hadn't eaten his first (due to "yucky onions") so I asked him where his other piece was and he said that when he came back to the table it was gone. I took a look in the trash only to find the disapearing pizza. I told him to go talk to Dad about lying. While in deep discussion he stuck to his disapearing act story. That's when I turned to little brother!... Me: Christopher, did you throw brothers pizza away? Toto: (Shaking his head "no" with lifted eyebrows, mischeveous eyes and a sly smile) No no no.......... YyyEeeeESssSss!!!!!!!. lol... These kids. Stephen and I could not hold back the laughing and Zack then began proclaming his innocence while we giggled away. This look from Toph was priceless! My Mischevious Gremlin!

Happy 2nd Birthday Christopher

2010-11-21T14:19:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Christopher's 2nd bithday. He is getting so big and seems to be growing faster then Zackary did. Toph decided that he wanted to have a Diego birthday with Batman napkins and a Yo Gabba Gabba cake. He's a little indecisive, but, it was his day so we made it work for him. We spent the morning like we usually do with our birthdays. Eating together, singing Happy Birthday, opening presents, playing for a while and then having cake for lunch. We had another party to go to which he had a blast at and then it was off to his birthday party presented by the Rios side of the Family.
I was pretty amazed. The house was decorated and everyone was so excited to see us. Toph made out like a bandit with all the gifts he got and when they sang Happy Birthday I stopped and listened. I had never really heard it sung with such juibilance (or male voices) before. It was all so touching. I must say that it was the best birthday gift I could have asked for him. He was more excited about the Toph sized Diego doll he got along with all his train tracks. Zacks' Grandpa gave him a gift so he could feel a little special yesterday while brother was getting lots of presents. This morning he asked me if I could get everything out of the car and he would help me. When I began pulling out the bags he said "Mom, Toph got lots of presents and I only got one But I am VERY thankful for my present!" I am so proud and happy of my big boy! I'm so proud of what the great young men the boys are becoming and I can't wait for our newest arrival to come out and share in the fun. It was a very great day.

Another Day Whizzing By

2010-11-18T22:06:00.000-05:00

     Today has been pretty stressful. I feel like I am sitting still while the world is whizzing by me. It's not helping that I have these insane pregnancy hormones, life stressors and have been on the brink of a bad cold for nearly the whole week. It's as if I'm in the middle of the teeter totter and I wish that this cold would either clear up or just get super bad so it can hurry and go away. I think that the stupid glucose test really threw me off kilter. Turns out my sugars were 148 (just like always) which means that they will want a 3 hour test which will probably be borderline (just like always) and I am really not up to do it again. I think that when I see the OB doc I'm just gonna explain my history with it and beg not to have another test.
     Christophers birthday is Saturday. I can't believe that he is going to be 2 years old. My dad's side of the Family is throwing him a big party so he will be thrilled and excited when he see's their whole set up. I'm kinda excited because it's really the first time that anyone has gone out of their way for one of my kids to make the day really special for them. I don't have to try and coordinate schedules or make it exciting for whomever is coming over to celebrate which takes the focus off the birthday boy. It's something new to me and it's re-affirming to me the type of grandparent and aunt I want to be. I am always the one who has to call eveyone and remind them that it's whomevers birthday. It was nice to be called and invited to my childs party rather then passively reminding people about his birthday (and yes, this is me passively venting with a little rambling, I'm kinda sick, remember : )... lol).
     ah, I think I am just really emotional! I just need to remember to breathe and everything else will be ok. I've found myself drowining my sorrows in bottles or Martinelli's Sparkling Apple-Peach Juice. Tonights flavor of choice was R.W. Knudsen's Sparkling Stawberry Juice. Here's to a quiet evening of netflix and some much needed couch time!

A better day

2010-11-17T14:44:00.000-05:00

Since yesterday was such a hard day for me. I took today to relax with the boys and just have some fun. Sometimes I forget that there are things that can be put off for a day and when doing a glucose test you should really plan to just relax and not stress because it puts a lot of stress on your body already. So here are some of our crafts thus far today.

We first decided to finger paint with fall scented finger paints. We had clove, cinnomon, nutmeg, all spice, and apple scented finger paints made from ingredients in my cupboards. it was so much fun making our own paints and then letting the kids smell them. Cinnomon was the favorite scent. Zack said that the rest smelt too spicy like hot gum. He also compared the smells to pumpkin pie and Christmas.

Even after only placing his finger in the paint he was finished. He does not like to get dirty.

Zack smelling the paints.

A closer smell.

Now what I love most about all the picks is Zacks faces. He also does not like to get dirty and he wears his feeling on his face.

Zack made these cool super heros out of some paper that we cut out together and toilet paper rolls. He is very proud of his completed project and placed them on the counter so little brother would not smash them so he could show them to Daddy when he gets home from work.

It's been a fun morning and I am glad to take the day to rest!!

Living Abroad

2010-11-17T10:51:00.000-05:00

     Stephen and I have always had a continual "itch" for moving. We never seem to feel at home or in just the right place. We have talked our big dreams of leaving it all behind and living abroad but today that talk seemed a little more obtainable for me. After reading a blog by someone who did just that she stated that "you can be poor anywhere". Yes, it could be a little more difficult to be poor abroad... but, only if your not prepared. I am thinking that if we work hard for these next 3-4 years Stephen can graduate again (for his nurse practitioner), I can pinch my pennies and save save save, we can hopefully sell our home and then we can get rid of all the junk, store our treasured possesions and move somewhere that we may feel a little more... content with.
     The feelings that we get of just not quite fitting in are un-describeable. It's like we are that jig saw piece that has been shoved into a spot in a huge puzzle. Don't get me wrong. I love my Family and Friends... maybe the US is just not stimulating enough for us right now. I need culture and events. I want my kids to know more than just running to Target, Wal Mart or the Grocery store. Sure we go to Fall or Winter Festivels. We try and find fun stuff to do on the weekends. We go to the beach and the mountains. But what about the events that celebrate the culture and history of where you live. I want more than to watch some fireworks or eat junk food on my independence day. I want a huge tug of war symbolizing the stuggle my country fought for. I think bottom line I just want to be stimulated. I'm sure that I could look harder for stuff in the US but why not travel and learn and experience the world... not just the US?
     I know I'm rambling. But looking at jobs and areas and culture this morning has gotten me excited and I think that this may be my new 4 year goal. Staying at home, I feel like I have no personal goals. I could spend my next 4 years really saving my pennies and learning a language and with Stephens education behind him, we could have out pick... I'm excited with my new dream! : )

p.s. The little "best place for you to live" quiz said that Italy would be perfect for us. 4 seasons and lots of hospitals... : ) just a thought

Rough Day

2010-11-16T21:05:00.000-05:00

What a day, what a day. Today was kinda rough. I always thought that by staying home I would get to sleep in, hang out with the kids and live the life of leisure. HAHAHAHA!!! Here is my day.
0500: Wake up
0530: Take a Shower, get dressed, get kids cleaned or showered and dressed
0600: Eat and get the kids food
0645: Get the kids playing while I clean up from breakfast, unload dishwasher and put clothes in laundry
0715: Leave for DMV
0915: Finally finish with DMV and head to pre-school, drop off and head to health clinic
0930: Check in, hang out, prick finger, drink yucky sugar stuff, get sick, fight Toph, feed Toph, get finger pricked and blood drawn, head back to pick up from pre-school.
1120: Go to Wal Mart to get birthday gift that we kept forgetting to get all week, feed myself
1220: Go to birthday party. Following party listen to Zack scream and cry because he couldn't eat any candy despite the fact that he had a cupcake and cookie.
130: Get home to listen to more whining and crying. Go to the garage and start finding all the hand me down clothes for Toph and baby stuff for baby.
420: Listen to screaming about being hungry but as soon as dinner is prepared and put on their plate it's not what they want. Guess what... I am EXHAUSTED! Dinner is staying on the table, eat if you want,... or don't!
It's now 6 and I feel like this is the first time today that I have sat down to have a moment to myself and I am still surrounded by the kids being complained at. Thankfully Zack is starting to see that I am not in the mood and I need a little love because he's cuddling me and came up and gave me a kiss. SO... now that I have complained and complained, I will try and take a moment to find the good in my day.
Zack just now helping Toph get comfortable by taking off his shoes and socks.
Feeling the baby kick.
Taking a shower by myself while watching the boys play in the bath.
Telling the boys to look up at the birds while I washed their head only to be told "no Mom, tell us to look at the Monkeys".
A warm towel fresh from the laundry this morning.
Toph talking to the baby.
Finally being done with the DMV!!!
The desk calendar that recomended answering the phone "IRS, Thank you, we've been waiting for your call".
Ah, (deep breath). I have to try and keep it all in perspective. I really think that my glucose test just bottomed me out. I hate being so grumpy with the kids, and myself, it's just so difficult sometimes to the bright side of things. Here's to a better day tomorrow after a nice sleep leaving today behind!

Knott's Berry Farm

2010-11-10T21:30:00.000-05:00

The other day we went to Knott's Berry Farm. Here are some of the fun photos from the day.

Zack's "Mean"face, yes.. that is a cookie for breakfast but in my defense it's a peanut butter one : )

Yummy Cheerios, a lot healthier than brothers breakfast

I could not believe that they both went to Snoopy willingly and happy. Guess everyone loves a snuggly doggie.

Oh, they were so excited...

Big Happy Smiles....

You can't see the full extent of the faces but Zack was a little scared (at first) and Lizzy was ready to be done!

Riding the choo choo train. It was a manual ride and Zack was the only one doing the work. Lucky for him the ride operator helped him out.

He LOVED the train ride.

Mr. Muscles

Good Brothers!

All the kids were knocked out. We really had a lot of fun : )

With Love,

2010-11-08T12:37:00.000-05:00

     Since I know you are reading this. I want to tell you that I love you and wish that things could be better. Sometime things are just not what we want them to be. I've learned that instead of wishing, I have to find a way to navigate though all the muck and make the best decisions I know how, with the situation given. I never wanted this distance between us. Being from a home of multiple step partents I have always known that the adults come and go but the kids stay, siblings never disapear and although our blood may be different we are connected.
     No matter where we are in the world or our lives I am always your Sister. I love you and always have. There are things that you don't know or understand and unfortunatly in our Family we have all been raised to keep our mouths closed and mind our own buisness. As much as I would like to break through all the webs I can't. I must respect your parents. I hope that they will choose the best for you but understand that they feel like they are making the best choice for you. They are making the best choice they know.
     We love you. Happy Birthday to you and to your Sister. Use this as a way to keep us connected and know that I will always be there for you just as I am for all of my siblings. I'll try to keep things a little better updated. I wish we could have more but for now we'll have to take what we can get. Love you.
Your Sister Always,
Charly

One on One

2010-11-06T17:30:00.000-04:00

Today Zack and I got to spend some time together. It was nice to just be able to hang out with him and not get frustrated with chasing around Christopher. He had a birthday party for one of the girls from church/pre-school. It was a Mario party and he had a blast! He has now decided that he also wants to have a Mario party... should be fun. I think that this may be the first year that he is actually old enough and has enough local friends his age to be able to have a birthday party so I'm pretty excited to get to planning. After the part we may Daddy and Toph for lunch to yet again eat at Chipoltle. This baby inside me LOVES Chipoltle. I don't know what it is about their rice and beans but I can't stay away. Then Zack and I went and looked for birthday gifts for little brother. It's hard to believe that Toph will be 2 on the 20th. We didn't find much but we did get to see the rescue helecopter demonstration at the mall which was cool. It was the closest Zack has ever been to a helecopter taking off.
All together this has been one of the best days this week. It was great to spend some one on one time with my big boy, I think we both needed it.

Lemon's and Tutu's

2010-11-05T14:52:00.002-04:00

Below are some of our recent photos. I got craving for Lemonaid so the boys and I decided to make some. Zack loved having a matching shirt as his brother which we got when we bought a carpet from a local store here.

Getting everything ready

Christopher's Favorite Part. He loves eating lemons.

This was the most sour face he got. This kid could eat a whole lemon and not even flinch

Zack being Silly.

I have also gotten into making tutu's. I think it's a fun gift for all the little girl parties we get invited too. Here are some of the one's I've done. I've found a little better groove with each one and I can see the progression in the photos. It's a ton of fun! Tutu Mania at our house : )

2010-11-04T23:24:00.000-04:00

Today I tried to find the perfect gift for Kaylin who's turning 11. I realized that I am really not in tune with what pre-tween girls are into. Everything looked too little girlish for me and I felt like it was all a little childish. So, I decided to make something of my own. I still have not taken photos but I asked some of the girls from church who are the same age and a couple years older and they loved the shirt that I made. I guess I do have an eye for style, just not mass produced style. I think I may start making some shirts for the boys since I can't seem to find what I am liking in the stores right now. I'm finding that it's not really that hard to do.
This week has been super busy but thankfully tomorrow is Friday which means an early day for Stephen and a scheduled Girls Night Out for me. I really need it and can't wait to eat yummy cheesecake factory with the girls. I just hate that it's an hour away, it makes me so nervous to be such a long distance from the boys.
The baby is begining to move, or, I should say, I am begining to feel the baby move. My stomach is starting to show and it's crazy to think that we are a week away from being half way done. I'm so excited to have this be over since I am definetly getting older and my body aches just a little bit more this time. I think that the baby may be positioned different this time because I can not get my back to stop hurting. Stephen's home now. Time to relax and enjoy a quiet evening with the kids in bed. We may actually have enough energy to have a conversation or two before bed. Ah I love my life : )

2010-11-02T21:33:00.000-04:00

Being a parent is one of the hardest tasks around. You have expectations of how you want to be a parent and then you find yourself in the Generational Suck! You do exactly what your parents did, their parents did and their parents did. It's the way you were raised. It's what you know. It may not be exactly the same, but it's pretty similar.
Today Zack decided to stick his toy up his brothers nose. I hated being yelled at as a kid and I hated telling someone the answer to their question just to be told that I was wrong. YET this is practically exactly what I did. I didn't yell as loud, but, I yelled. I didn't blatenly tell Zack that he was wrong and his answer wasn't good enough, but, as he told me why I asked over and over again because his answer was not "good enough" in my mind. '
I have tried to make changes in my parenting and there are alterations but, it's pretty much the same. Today was just a really hard day. I know that it has a lot to do with the fact that I have been cleaning for 2 days and they are done with Mom cleaning (I lost all ability to maintin the house when pre-school was happening for the past 2 weeks). Tomorrow starts a new day. Tomorrow we have the cable shut off and we can focus on crafts, spending time together and mainting a clean house. It's so hard to find all the time in the day to accomplish it all. I know I can do it but I have found it hard to find my groove, my way to make it all work and not get utterly swept up with the sweeping and lose myself in the dust. There has to be a happy medium of kids, husband, self, God, house, chores, arrands and life in general. Hopefully with the distraction of the TV gone it will help. I also think we will be taking a trip to the library to get some more advice from those whom have gone before me... I just wish that I could read a book from the kids of the "parents" who write those books, see how they feel about it all and how they turned out.
Here's to the end of this day, a peaceful night and a new Begining tomorrow!

Craziness and All

2010-10-21T17:30:00.000-04:00

I've decided that although I may not have the time to fold my laundy, have my house super clean or even shower on my own... I must find the time to document out Family's happenings. That's my Mom responsibility and this years blog book is going to be pretty thin despite all our changes and happenings if I don't act now. It seems like it is so much easier to just update Facebook then take the time to actually write everything that is happening.
Things have been a little rough around the edges. Adjusting to the stay at home life has proven a little challanging. Stephen got home last night and was imediatly welcomed with hugs and kisses. After Zack sat back down at the table he look toward his Dad and announced "Mom and I had a Rough day!" we had definetly had some bumps through the day and things were not progressing as I had hoped. That what makes the day though. How boring it would be for me at the end of the day if I layed in bed next to my husband and only was able to say how I got the house clean and his socks folded. Instead it's a rush of conversation as we drift to sleep about the boys jump kicking eachother and falling on the ground laughing, how Zack made his own self realization that he wasn't listening because he was too excited about getting a peice of gum, about Christopher pooping on the ground and being very upset about it and apollo trying to clean it up for me... Gross!! Sometimes I loose sight and wish that the house could get clean and I could skip the in between but I know that would make my life too dull to handle!
Stephen seems to be liking his new job and doing well despite the monotinousness. It seems like when he talks about work he has made it a point to find something that sparks his interest and adrenaline to keep him interested. Yesterday it was helping the security guard escort a drug seeking patient off the premesis. The day before he got to tell a woman she was pregnant, previous to that it was dealing with an unhappy patient because the doc called her out for getting heavy drugs but not using them. He told me the other day that he wants to change jobs after the baby is born. I told him that we both need to learn how to settle down and maintain a lifestyle for more then a month without getting bored. It's so funny that living the Military life for so long we get bored with the same ol' thing over and over again. We're learning... that's all you can do.
My goal is to maintain this a little better. To document our lives so we have something to look back on during gloomy times or, heaven forbid, when one of us is no longer around and we need a place to help us remember. Despite it all kids... I love you with my everything. I love your Father more that any one person could ever love anyone and I love our Family... craziness and all!!

la ala alalala

2010-09-27T15:12:00.000-04:00

Today has been a pretty uneventful day. I have so many "tasks" that I need, and would LOVE, to accomplish but it seems as if my body is stuck in a jar of peanut butter. I find myself starting plenty of tasks but never completing them. The laundry makes it through the wash but stays in the basket, the dishes get done but never escape the dishwasher until it's ready for the next load. I feel like I am so overwhelmed with each task at hand and the many others that are still pending that I junp from each to the next, not giving it my full attention or effort, leaving me with just many little messes vs a couple big. Oye, what can you do : ) still negotiating this whole stay at home thing

Breathing Deeply

2010-06-24T01:39:00.000-04:00

Yes, It's been a while.
A lot has occured and I don't really feel like going through it all so let's just update on where we are and not where we've been.
We are now living in San Jacinto, California. What a difference from Fredericksburg. Before leaving we had Great Grandma Thelma and Great Grandma Betty join us in Virginia for a nice visit and they kept commenting on how big the trees were, how green everything was and how much beauty was surrounding us. I began to worry about moving back to California, which I remember to be green and beautiful, and it not being a lush as the area we were in. Well, I was right to worry. It's not as lush and it's not as green BUT you can not replace the Mountains. For the first time in my life I am living in the Valley. I am surrounded by astounding beauty in mountains that amaze me every day. The way the Sun engulfs the valley at sundown or the way that the light bounces off the mountains every morning. It's remarkable. I've decided that there are not many places in the world that you can live and be surrounded by all the beautiful things that you want to be surrounded by. So there may have to be a compramise or two along the way but, it's SO worth it to be able to live free and travel and see all that the world has to offer. You can not imagine the different places, the photos in the book alone can not totally allow you to feel the true beauty of this world. I feel very blessed for me and my Family to be able to experience the greatness of this valley and we are ever so excited to begin exploring our new surroundings just as we explored our last. Who knows, we may eventually move on to another place that will excite our senses but for now we are enjoying our selves here and Welcome you at anytime to come share this beauty with us. We love you all. God Bless.

2010-04-06T09:31:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted anything for a long time, I know. Some/lots of new posts soon, I'm just finding my footing in this strange new world of no work... scratch that... home work : ) more soon. love you all

2010-03-13T11:04:00.000-05:00

     Today I feel washed and clean.The rain has cleansed the roads and there is a fresh smell in the air. Often times I get into a funk and retreat into myself. I throw myself into the kids, work, cleaning, the house, my husband. I lose track of my life and what I should be doing for me. When I get stressed I get busy. I do anything I can to take my attention off of my stressor and I disapear. The rain (and some quiet since the boys are off for the day while I show the house around) always brings me back center. The fresh air enlightens my senses and reminds me that there is more to life. There is always going to be stress. There is always going to be more work to do, more house cleaning, more chores, more activities... but if I lose my self in the process and I lose my love for what I am doing, then what is the purpose? Why continue on if there is no purpose?
     I was reading an article written by a woman who found her fulfilment in life through writing. When she graduated college with her masters she took a job teaching to bring in some big bucks with her degree. She found that she had no time to do her passion... writing. One day she quit and took a job house sitting a home at the beach for a month. During that time she realized that there was more to life then money and, long story short, took a job stocking groceries at a local organic co-op. Only working 20 hours a week she was able to pay the bills, have medical, get discounts on the groceries and most of all, devote her time to her passion for writing. I have contemplated what I will spend my time doing once my career in the Army is over. I have talked about staying home with the kids full time, I have grand ideas of being that Joan Cleaver who has the time to iron the underwear and make 3 course breakfasts. I have talked about going to school, deciding what I want to be when I grow up and being the best, straight A, avid student with a passion for learning. I have played around with the idea of a job with the USDA or as a school bus driver. All of which were not the best fit when it was all discussed out loud. My newest "idea" is that I want to work at a co-op. I want to have some independece for myself and also have the time to devote to my passion, my Family. The joy in the end of all this is that I don't have to decide today, I don't have to settle, and when I do make my choice, if I don't like it I can change. Life is what you make of it. Change may not be the easiest step but Thank the Lord for our free will to be able to change. I am so thankful for the ability I have to be able to decide what I want today and change it tomorrow if it so pleases me.
     Today I feel fresh, today I feel new. Today, I am happy!!

2010-02-25T17:46:00.000-05:00

Things have been crazy. Right now I am a little bummed since I was sewing some hodge podges of fabric together to make some outside porch curtains and my needle broke. I now have fabric strewn allover the living room and can't find a single sewing needle. I have somehow misplaced my attachment to the machine where I think my needles are hiding and so here I sit, on the computer, taking a moment out of the day to play catch up before the brewd of boys come home.
     Recently we have been planning for our move back to California. We really want to be close to Family and to let the kids grow up and socialize with people other then us. Here we don't really have anyone to watch the kids if we want to go out and no cousins for the boys to grow up with. The plan is to move into my moms house (which is HUGE, NEW and Georgeous!!!! It was the model home so it has all the upgrades and is about 3 of our current homes put together) since she wants to move to palm springs. She has only lived there for the past year and since it's paid off we will only have to pay her rent at the apartment and since my sister and cousin will also be moving in with her it will be about 400$ for us to pay... we are beyond excited. There is a HUGE, Brand new park, in the community which is made up of 5 houses since the contractor ran out of money after building the park, 5 houses and the road. So it's a great house for us to get to know the area in and then venture out on our own once Stephen is settled in his job and hopefully we can sell our house here. For now, we will just be renting it out.
      Earlier in the week my brother matt was visiting. He was in town for a wedding for the week so things were hectic but I was glad to be able to spend an evening with him. It re-affirmed to us that California will be a great move. My neice and Zack played the whole night without a peep and only came out to eat. They really had a blast together. Christopher felt a little left out and everytime he tried to join in and play Zack would carry him out of the room, we'll have to work on that : ). My sister in law is about 6-7 months pregnany and looks so beautiful. I can't wait to have another baby around. And my brother is as fun as ever and looking forward to have a basketball mate in May with us moving that way.
     Work is progressing well and it looks like I may get to make my way out of the Army on time. I'm glad that I have a bit of a brain because without me no one would be getting anything resolved with my many "issues" that have come up. I am still pending my Kuwait assignment but I still don't have the time remaining to go, so... we shall see. I have submitted my VA claim, attended all the briefings and done everything else to get out so now I must only wait out the next 5 weeks and look forward to the end.
     We recived great news that Stephen's education will transfer over perfectly and he will be able to swiftly obtain his CA RN License shortly after arrival so that has been our Bright Star for the week.
    I have been nausious and sick from all the stress of our current "life" but it seems like it is all progressing well and things are on track.
    The boys are now home so I'll update later : )

Birthday Horoscope's... 3 for 3... Dead on!!

2010-02-17T10:07:00.002-05:00

Today's birthday (Feb. 17): You are game for adventure, and because of this it will be a year of remarkable happenings. Love keeps your world exciting now through May. You'll be involved in a mystery in June, and you may decide to write about it later. Your lucky numbers are 6, 20, 31, 29 and 15.

You are pushing the envelope again -- it's definitely become a habit! While not everyone likes what you propose, you should be able to convince enough folks to try it to make a real splash!

Creative or artistic interests are stimulated this Sunday afternoon. Your attention may move to an activity that involves a large group--perhaps a party! There are fun opportunities to be with old friends and to enjoy talking about old times. You may feel as though you are running a race this Monday. Also, you may tend to push yourself to race with others. Insights are flashing in unexpectedly--keep notes! This is a great day for technical, scientific work or any kind of task that requires cleverness. Your eloquence this Tuesday will enhance your influence over others. You are apt to enjoy considerable success at work. Count your blessings. Your talents may be in demand this Wednesday. However, because this is your birthday, a lighter air of expectation is enjoyed. Be tough and throw yourself into your profession, the day will end faster than you can imagine. Keep your mind and body in the best working condition. Introduce delightful smells into your home and surroundings. Let others pamper you, this Thursday. The power of attraction for love is great. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

2010-02-09T17:55:00.000-05:00

Here are some of the photos from the past few snow storms that we have been experiencing. The first storm that we had was pretty minor compared to snow we got this weekend. As you can see it was near whiteout conditions at times but the next morning when we got up the snow looked so magical. It was as if Fairy Dust had been sprinkled allover. The snow sparkled like glitter, the sun was shining and the weather was pretty warm. My coworker lost power at his house so him and his Family came over and Zackary played with his Daughter in the snow with our makeshift sleds (storage container lids, yoga mat and boogie board). It was a lot of fun and I think we all really enjoyed ourselves.

Christopher Updates

2010-02-09T17:04:00.000-05:00

Lately I have been typing my posts on a word document, saving them and then posting later. I realized that it's kinds a waste of time and I find that weeks are passing by before I get them uploaded.
A week has passed since Christopher got his tubes placed in his ears and we already have another ear infection. He seems to be handling it very well but this infection is definetly painful which I don't think he has ever really experienced before. Usually we can just tell because he gets very congested and "sick" but this time he is really pulling at his ears and crying and laying down on the ear a lot. Unfortunatly we were seen by the "bad" doctor at the pediatricians. We think that she is a total nut bag but you have to see a doc to get the proper meds. It's almost gotten to the point where we would rather go to the ER then see her. We really don't think that she knows much and she blows off everything. She just returned from a goodwill trip to Haiti and is now big on an antibiotic that does not require refrigeration. I know it's stupid but with her I think she prescribes meds that she's interested in at the time being and not what's best. When we are seen by Christophers regular pediatrician we get continuity of care and when we see this lady... you never know what to expect. Hopefully the meds work and he'll recover soon, but so far no fast results. Here are some bath photos with his super cool ear plugs : ) and of course Big Borther didn't want to be left out of the fun : )

The other big events for Christopher is that he is now talking like crazy. I receive email parenting news letters from the hospital and one of them talked about how kids will put off other "milestones" until they master the one that they are on. I'm not sure if Christopher was holding out or if his ears played a factor in the talking but he is now talking like crazy. He is also walking in the same steps as his brother with his manners. He says "Please" when he wants something and "Thank You" when he gets what he wanted. The other night he had Zack's Bakugan (japanese cartoon toy) and while throwing it he yelled "Bakugan Roll" which is what you say when you throw them and then they pop open. It's amazing how in the matter of a week we have gone from "Mamma & Dadda" to mimiking his Big Brother. He has even started to show interest in potty training. Yesterday we spent a majority of the day allowing him to explore the toilet and running with him to the bathroom. When asked if he wants to go potty his body straigtens up and he bolts to the bathroon saying "pee pee" all the way there. It's so fun watching him develop his personality. Zackary was so proud of Christopher and when he got on the toilet ran through out the house saying "where's my phone? I want to take a picture of Toto". He snapped the photos away and encouraged his Little Bro to "Go Potty!!" So Much fun to have someone else sharing the potty moments with Stephen and I!! Here is also a photo of Zack during his first Potty adventure.

Back posts

2010-02-09T10:54:00.000-05:00

Today the car broke down. I am so mad at myself that I can’t even type but I want to leave something for me to add to later… click click boooommmm!!

Well, it was another jam packed weekend that decided to run into our beginning of the week. It began (of course) Friday with my car braking down on the side of I95. After trying to lick it’s wounds I had it towed to the auto shop and my co-worker and I went to lunch. While sitting in the booth awaiting my Avocado (yum), Bacon (yummy) Burger (Mmmm) I got a call from our mechanic informing me that the head gasket was probably blown and the piston was crack. To fix it starting out would cost at least 2 grand but probably more and he recommended just calling the junk yard because the cost was not worth it. GREAT!! What a wonderful way to head into the weekend. Little did I know that what I thought would be a wonderful Friday leading into a relaxing weekend held this in store for me.

Following lunch we headed back to work (actually to work for the first time) and were released shortly after. Do you know how… young it make you feel to not have your own vehicle and depend on someone else for transportation? Luckily I have an awesome co-worker who did not mind lending me a ride home. The following days were filled with craigs listings and classifieds where (when I thought we were outta luck) we found a nice little car that will work for me to get to and from for the next 3 months. Would have loved to spend the money somewhere else but after it’s all said and done we will definitely be able to sell it when we leave for Cali for more than we ended up spending (since my car pulled in a hefty 275$ thanks to Stephens savvy negotiating skills). All in all what I thought was a terrible disaster was a bit stressful, but, we have survived.

The week following the weekend began with Christopher’s surgery. He is recovering VERY well after getting tubes placed in his ears and we think that he is hearing/communicating WAY better. I got to go into the operating room to help him ease into sleep but had to leave for the procedure. When I got brought back into the recovery room Christopher was totally inconsolable. He was definitely in pain and scared that I was not there and he would not calm down at all. The nurse ended up letting us leave because he was just not relaxing. As soon as I told him to say goodbye and we started walking out he laid down, waved his hand and kept saying “bye bye”. It was so sweet and also so sad to see my little boy so sad. He was in a terrible/clingy mood for the remainder of the day but this morning he woke up happy go lucky and I feel like his speech is much clearer as well as better balance and hearing. When I tell him to do something he does it… that should last all of about 3 days : )

All in all it’s been a crazy couple of weeks and I’m sure a couple more crazy ones to come. Zackary has a birthday party coming up and I found out today (from the little girls mom when I called to RSVP) that the little chica has a crush on my little chico. The mother sounded so excited that Zack would be joining them for the birthday and explained that her daughter constantly talks about Zack when she picks her up from school. It’s so funny to see all these kids growing up and their interactions with others. It’s funny, you could never imagine how much grief I get from everyone because I’m getting out of the military. It’s as if there is no life sustainable without the Army to the whole world. Everyone asks what I’m going to do and comments how hard the economy is etc. My newest reply has been that my kids will always need a mother so I shouldn’t have a hard time getting a job. I can not wait to be their full time mommy! People just look at me like I am a lunatic. They have no idea. You can NEVER truly know how someone else feels in their given situation. To me, happiness is WAY worth the money and people who had a lot less going for them have made it so I think I’ll be alright! 2.5 more months and counting! I think that the next month will fly by and California… Here we come!!

: )

2010-01-29T21:06:00.001-05:00

Today something really cool and amazing happened to me. I was approached by a Friend/coworker asking me some pregnancy questions. After answering the questions I asked if she thought she was preggers and she responded by telling me that she had taken a test and it was positive but she had blood drawn that morning to confirm, she followed this statement with “but I’m don’t even think I’ll keep it if I am”. I completely believe that everyone has the freewill to make their own choices but I also know that you can be there to show someone a different light. I explained to this Friend that despite her currently shaky marriage and her very busy lifestyle, everything happens for a reason. That the babies heart was already beating deep inside her womb. I told her that no one should be able to take away from her happiness or energy and that she could do anything that she put her mind to. I helped my Friend to feel confident that there would always be someone there to offer a support system and that I would be there to give her any knowledge she needs since she has never been around kids and that she would never know the un conditional love that you get from your child. Then, later in the day, I was told by one of the doctors at the vet clinic that she heard I was an amazing and wonderful mother. I thanked her and asked who told her that, she told me that my Friend had. My Friend came to me later and thanked me for all my information and told me that she was excited about the pregnancy and had decided to keep the baby. I have already gotten calls and texts for that pregnancy information. Sometimes I have a little fear to speak up and tell others what I think but although you never know how it may be received, imagine if my response to her was “oh, well, it’s a personal choice”. Sure, I don’t think I could ever be that person to stand on my soap box and preach it out to the world but I am very happy about today and how well this was received.

Stress

2010-01-29T21:05:00.002-05:00

Alright. I have been stressed out of control. It’s a bit concerning to get out of the Army and not be contributing a major financial part to our Family. It’s also scary to leave all the safeguards of the Military and go it off on our own. I know that we have Family in California who will be there to help us if and when we need it but I hate to depend on anyone but myself. I feel like I am a burden on people and they are only helping out of guilt to not help. Either way it is all very stressful.

All the Stinky Toto's

2010-01-29T21:05:00.000-05:00

Zackary is such a great big brother. He cracks me up in the way that he shows his love for little Christopher. This evening we were audience to Zackary singing his rendition of All the Single Ladies (by Beyonce) being “All the Stinky Toto’s All the Stinky Toto’s”. We have been calling Christopher, Toto (shorter for Topher) for a while now and his brother has now given him a nice little theme song. I find it so heartwarming to see the boys growing together and interacting with each other. Christopher is really beginning to communicate and come into his own personality and Zackary is having a blast with him now that he is a little bigger and able to play a little harder together. I have a feeling that I will be experiencing many broken bones and bruises in our years to come. Until then, I look forward to more of these hilarious theme songs.

Round and Round the Cobblers Bench

2010-01-28T17:19:00.000-05:00

Took a PT test today and passed... good and bad. Of course now that opens me up to re-enlistment and so the tables are again turning. I was as good as gone with a plane ticket to California and now 90 days out from ETS I found myself in the 1SG office with him dropping hints (not so subtly) about contacting my congressman and having a congressional conducted on all my... issues. Man, we are so close, yet so far. I have my VA paperwork submitted. Med Board pending. End of Service commitment in 90 day but these guys want me to forget it all and stay a while longer... BLAH!!!! But... I did pass the PT test so I'm happy for now. A nice dinner out and a relaxing bath later tonight and my evening is toast... hmm, maybe I'll make some yummy white hot chocolate tonight!

My Love

2010-01-24T14:19:00.002-05:00

I have got two of the most amazing children who love me no matter all of my flaws, who could ask for more than that. My prayer is that I never disappoint them. I pray that I have the strength to hold them up high to the sky and fill the souls with all of my love and devotion.

I have a husband who is amazing. I am so thankful to have him in my life. I expect a lot from people, and myself, and he meets each expectation with a smile. There is no other person who would be more perfectly matched for me. I am so thankful that I have him in my life.

I have had many “happenings” in my life. Many things have made me who I am and despite the bad, it’s worth it for all this good that I have. How could anything be wrong with these 3 amazing men in my life each day?

Blech for being sick

2010-01-24T14:18:00.005-05:00

This week was full of coughing, sniffling and doctors. Following up from Christopher’s “blue” incident. He is bronchitis and ear infection free. He is still on antibiotics for a few more days and has a lingering cough and runny nose but it all together well. Following his ENT appointment he has been scheduled for surgery to have tubes put in his ears on the 1st of February. I’m a little nervous but the physician said that it only takes 15 minutes and he’ll recover perfectly.

Zackary is also a bit under the weather. Both him and I must have what Christopher had or we picked up the same but at the ER. It’s pretty nasty and we fell “icky” but Stephen is taking care of us splendidly.

Right now I am looking around my house wanting to clean but I have absolutely no energy. I have been having a hard time finding the energy for much of anything lately. I think that winter is starting to get to my head. I’m slowly sifting through the house sorting what to keep and what to yard sale but I realized that I put a ton of stuff on the yard sale side of the attic when we should probably keep it around. As I have found myself watching the new show “hoarders” I find that everything in the house is practically replaceable and I would hate to ever find myself with all the junk piled high throughout my home. So, I have drawn upon a double edged sword wanting to throw out the whole the whole house but knowing that I shouldn’t.

One thing is certain, I can not wait to feel a bit better. Do you feel that when you are sick that you have been sick forever? I find myself sitting here knowing that last Sunday, although tired, no nose was not on fire nor did I have this cough, but, it seems like I have had this cough for years. It seems like my nose has never, nor will it ever, be normal again. I feel like my body will ache for all the eternities and there is no end in sight for the pain I am in. Am I the only one who feels this way when they are sick?

I do know that I will feel better soon. Although I will still have daily aches and pains, the burning nose and cough should soon be fading away… I can not wait!!

Paperless

2010-01-24T14:18:00.002-05:00

I’m finding myself typing away and filling this blank vast space, when I should be sitting down with a pen and paper writing my letter. A letter that I find myself writing once a year, a letter that should have been mailed off last month. This year our Family photos were not at all what we wanted. We have not had an opportunity to visit the Picture People to have another photo taken and I have been using this as an excuse not to write my letter. Sometimes I feel that I undercut my own legs at the knee. Yes, the letter takes a soft touch and a lot of time, but the results, year after year are remarkable. Following my letter, I get one back. I always get back a note with photos of it’s own and words that remind me that every choice we make involves another person. We are never alone, we can never do any act that would not involve someone else. I get back words that remind me that both little and big acts go a long way. I find hope and inspiration. I feel warmth and love. But each year, I feel it harder and harder to write my letters. Maybe it’s because the years are passing swiftly and one year soon someone else may be writing back. Maybe I am frightened that one year I won’t get a reply. Why do we allow fears to rule what we do? I find that it’s one of the most incapacitating emotions, Fear. I try to be an open book so as not to allow fear to rule myself but here I am, typing away… no pens or paper in sight. Fear.

If we really want to live...

2010-01-24T14:17:00.002-05:00

Oh the peace of Sunday. Unfortunately the kids and I are sick but everyone is laying in a deep sleep at the moment and the only sound (besides the snoring) is the typing of my keys and sniffling of my nose. This week, despite the shortness, dragged on rather slowly. It seems that once we have an end in sight things seem to slow down. I am using that as an opportunity to stop and smell the roses. I am trying to find the peace and calm within myself and get into the flow of life. I'm usually flowing smoothly like a river, bowing at each bump and bending to each curve. Lately though, I would say the past 3 months, I have not been flowing. I have been reading a book titled "Finding Flow" and within the first couple paragraphs I realized why. It reads,

"If we really want to live, we'd better start at once to try; If we don't, it doesn't matter, but we better start to die. W.H. Auden......
The choice is simple: between now and the inevitable end of our days, we can choose either to live or to die... if we don't take charge of it's direction, our life will be controlled by the outside ....and other people will try to take as much of our energy as possible to further their own agenda-all of this without regard to how any of this will affect us. We cannot expect anyone to help us live; we must discover how to do it by our self."

Unfortunately I have fallen prey to someone else's agenda and I and only just now realizing it. Now of course I would love to now type how that will be happening no longer and that it's my life and I'm taking charge. Unfortunately it's not always that easy. My fingers type on the keyboard so easily about change but living outside this post is a bit more difficult. I must say that the above quoted (in between the lines) offered me some clarity and opened a closed portion of my brain. A portion of my brain that is now opened and hopefully a portion that will help me to regain my flow.

I apologies if this sounds a little wacky and off the wall, as I said in the beginning of the year this is now my personal sounding board.

Either way that the wind blows one thing is certain for me. I live my life to the best of my abilities and I am (going to try my hardest) not going to allow anyone to pull from my energy to further their own agenda anymore.

Rainy Day

2010-01-20T20:01:00.001-05:00

Oh Rainy Day... I enjoy the peace of the rain but it clashes with my go go go personality. I have so much that I want to get done in preparation of the next few months but I just don't quite have the gumption to get up and do it quite yet. I did get the attic cleared out so that was a plus. The next step is to clear out the 2 storage areas in the back and separate them by things for yard sale and things for move. Fun fun fun.

this was typed a few days ago but didn't publish.. no longer raining : )

The color Blue

2010-01-20T20:00:00.001-05:00

The day care has begun these new classes called Al's Pal's. From my understanding they help kids with manners and controlling not so pleasant behavior like fits and anger and hitting etc. It's amazing how well all the kids are responding. I must give myself a pat on the back because it's all stuff that we have already been doing through the years so it's coming naturally for Zack and today he came home with a note saying that he was Al's Best Pal for the day because of how well he uses nice words. I like it because we have had some encounters with not so nice kids already and although this is stuff that the parents should be teaching, not all parents know so it's a great resource.

Christopher is sick yet again. I have an awful feeling that he will be my sick kid forever. He now has the continuing ear infection and now bronchitis to go with it. No more pnemonia though so that's good. We spent Monday night in the ER after he turned blue with uncontrolable shaking and yawning following his bath. By the time Stephen rushed him to the ER his temp spiked to 104 (which he wasn't running one at all at home) and he gave us quite the scare. It was kids night in the ER and it seemed like each child had an entorage of Family to follow so it was pretty busy. We found a corner in the waiting room away from the coughers and read stories while bundled up waiting for them to call us back. When we got back the doc gave us the diagnosis and said he probably experienced a little hypothermia following the bath (which masked the temperature) because of the high temp. Either way, he's recovering and has follow ups scheduled for tomorrow to moniter things. He also has an ENT appt Friday where we will most likely be getting tubes for his troublesome ears. I'm a little concerned but this 4 month ear infection needs to end!

Stephen started back at school and it's going well. I think that his whole graduating class is glad that it will be over soon. Germana is doing a health fair this weekend where Culpeper Hospital is sponsoring Germana in a weight loss where they will donate 50$ for each lb you loose. Stephen and I are both joining in as an attempt to help out the school and give us a little push. : ) We are back to the gym, as is everyone else and their mothers. The place is so busy and my once peaceful yoga classes now feel like people on a conveyor belt to peace of mind. I have still been going to my dance class too which I am improving with but I am still a bit lacking in the coordination department. We purchased the plane tickets today for us to fly out to CA in May... one way. We are really excited and nervous but it will be really nice to be near Family and be able to devote a lot more time to my Home and Family life. We will actually be able to have a social life again!! I can't wait for the play dates and gym classes in the middle of the day. Cleaning the house and cooking yummy meals! Super Excited!!

Well, the boys are watching Toy Story so I'm off for some fun snuggle time. Enjoy the photos below.

Zackary in his King Size bed... Spoiled

Toph attacking Mommy while she attacks with the Camera... look at those teeth

Alright, following his bath I thought he looked so cute with his blue hippo towel and little did I know when I pulled it off I would find a blue baby. Looking back at the photos you can see him turning more blue with each click of the lens... super scary

About 5 minute later Toph has hives allover his legs, turns out he is allergic to rabbit. Angora blanket knitted by my Mom... this kid is giving me grey hair!

A better non blue post bath photo of our cutie : )

Dance Dance Dance...

2010-01-13T21:51:00.000-05:00

Oh the joys of a new year. Giving up beloved chocolate, trying to keep the holiday spirit alive by being nice (blech! hehe) and, oh yes, working out. Although, thanks to the military, Stephen and I were really good about keeping a workout schedule before the holidays we feel like a herd of cows in the barn as we go to the gym everynight with all of the resolutioners. Those whom have made the choice to change their lifestyle for 2010. Before we would go to the gym and not a soul in sight. Now I can't get cardio done to save my life because everyone is there, taking up my machines. Oh well. I have decided that I need a little more of a work out instead of my usual yoga so I have been taking a body jam class (dance), it's fun and an ok workout (good break once a week) but boy has it reminded me that I have absolutely no rhythem. None at all. No coordination, no balance, no sense of direction... but it's fun!!

Zackary has his first feild trip tomorrow. It was supposed to be last week (which seems like a lifetime ago... days are really dragging) but the teached mixed up the days and so now it's tomorrow. I'm excited and worried all at the same time but I'm sure it will be great.

Hmm. Other big new, not sure if I announced it quite yet... no, no new baby news... but we have decided to move back west. The tenetive plans are that I get out in April, Stephen graduates May, following the leaving of the guests the boys and I will be flying out to California to give Stephen some time to finish the house stuff and study for NCLEX. Then he'll take his test and start the drive on out. The timeline is still a little sketchy but it looks like early to mid june at the latest... come to think of it I think I did already talk about this... well, took me a long time to type (cold hands are not very coordinated at the moment) so... sorry for the repition... or not... lol.. I think I need to go to sleep now! Good night.

The squirrel's are taking over our neighborhood!!

2010-01-12T09:47:00.000-05:00

This is the culprit! Super Squirrel!! No matter where he needs to be, he can get there. As you may remember from last year we experienced a bit of squirrel problems. We had the home invader who left his trail of poop through the house and this year we have the trash compactor. While driving through out neighborhood, on trash day, you will find holes in every trash can in the community. The squirrels have taken over and no matter what you do to your can, they are still getting in. I have come home from work on many evenings to find one escaping from the depths of my trash and running away to his tree. I have found myself trying to frighten them away from my trash by ramming my car into my trash can as they attempt to escape. Nothing has worked and we are to the point of either buying a beebe gun or XxPoisonxX... I dunno what will happen in the future for these pests but one thing is for certain... The end of days is coming little ones!!!

2010-01-11T07:13:00.002-05:00

So, I have been terrible about taking photos but enjoy the ones below. Saturday we took Zackary bike riding with his super cool, big boy, hot wheels bike. Despite the FRIGID temperature we all had a lot of fun and really enjoyed ourselves. The best part was coming home to SUPER YUMMY White Hot Chocolate with Homemade Marshmellows!!! I found the recipe's online (since I have given up Chocolate for the year I have had to become creating to get my sweet tooth fix) and they were a definete 5 Stars!! The Marshmellows were a sticky mess but fun to make and nice to know what I was eating!! Sometimes I often wonder what I am actually feeding my body when it comes so nice a packaged. We ended the evening watching Aladin on the couch bed (Zackary's favorite) and enjoying the peace of the winter.
     Surprizingly when I look back at the past weeks it seems like the hamster wheel has been turning but not much is actually happening. We have been making those big "plans" for the future lately but we are still at a little winter lull. As far as Kuwait is concerned... I was supposed to be there yesterday and I am in 11 degree Virginia so that's good for me and my Family. Right now I am waiting to hear from 1SG (big boss) to update me on the Army's plan... can go either of 2 ways. 1. I get a new report date to go to Kuwait or 2. They leave me alone and let me ETS or Medically Discharge. I have an appt with my doc this month to follow up on the medical stuff. We shall see but one thing I do know is that it all moves a lot smoother when I forget about it and just live my life without stressing.
    Stephen starts day 1 of the last semester today... YAY!!!! We are so excited for this to end and so far the plan is.... California here we come. I love the Friendships that we have made here in Virginia, but Family is a must. We have to have Family support to lean on and we want the boys to know their Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins etc. Although I have some Family here, there is just too much distance and too much going on, so hopefully California will work out a little better for us. We are hoping to rent out the house (kinda scared because of the distance between CA and VA) to hopefully perfect renters, and we have found some great houses in CA that are HUGE and AFFORDABLE!! Surprisingly. So Kista (Who I think is the only person who actually reads this... lol) you can come and visit us there when it's such terrible cold here : ).
     I got my book from Blurb.com... Soooooo Cool!! I was wanting to print this and turn it into a series of yearly journals for the boys and Blurb.com made that happen for me. Our book is about 90 pages and although it's the small one you can still see the photos perfectly (I opted for the higher quality paper) and it's sooo colorful and cool. I am definetly showing it off.
     Other then those few things.... everything is trucking along. Enjoy the photos. (excuse the sleepy hair : )

Good Morning All

2010-01-04T11:21:00.002-05:00

The New Year is here and Zackary is in CTR 4. Following the release of Relief Society I was greeted by a shiny CTR ring and my “big boy” telling me that it means “Choose the Right”. Zackary was so excited to start a new class and has been feeling like such a little man lately with all the new happenings that come with being 4 years old. He changed to the 4’s class at daycare and will be attending his first field trip on Thursday. The class is visiting a nursing home in town where they will get to play games and have story time with the elderly they are visiting. Zackary is very excited and it’s refreshing to watch all the new developments and changes in his personality, since becoming 4 he has taken on a very big boy persona. The other day we were out playing at the park and another child bumped into Christopher, without a pause Zackary informed the child that he needed to be careful because Christopher is little and he is his big brother. He is definitely trying to lose my little boy and become a big 4 years old.

This morning Christopher woke up and I was not home so his immediate response was to walk throughout the house pushing on all the doors opening them one by one while shouting “Momma”. I never thought a child could be so attached to the hip. It’s amazing how he just sits on my hip and watches whatever I may be doing at the time. He reminds me of the Native American babies and how they get bundled up and put into their mothers back, silently and motionlessly watching whatever their mother may be doing. Lately his newest “thing” is to go stand in the corner following a scolding or being told “no”. He must have made the connection from his brothers numerous trips, but it’s the funniest thing to watch him walk over to the corner, stands there with his forehead against the wall (you can tell that he has an inquisitive/serious thinking look on his little face) for a moment and then he pops his head off and goes about playing. He is also a little troublemaker who knows exactly what button to push (shutting down the PS3 mid game) and how to get your attention (using his little choppers to very lightly bite on you). As like his brother and most 1.5 year olds he wants to become Mr. Independent making most small tasks a little bigger. All together, I couldn’t ask for more.

Welcome 2010

2010-01-01T12:07:00.000-05:00

                I recently discovered blurb.com which can pull the posts from your blog and make it into a book, photos and all. Since I have always wanted to be one of those grey haired old women who have a million journals for their children to look through when she passes away I will take advantage of both these programs and incorporate this into a little more personal journal... just an fyi : )
              We are very interested in what 2010 will offer us. As like the millions of others in this world we have made the typical resolutions to eat less, exercise more... etc. We have a lot of "loose ends" that will be wrapping up around the spring of this year and we anticipate where our life will be heading. Last year, for us, was a year of unknowns. We ended 2010 not knowing if I would be heading to Kuwait, staying in the military or getting out, moving to California, Texas, Hawaii or staying here in Virgina (blah). We didn't know much about where our life would be going by the time the ball hit at the last second of 2009 but one thing we do know is that we have eachother. No matter how much other Family drama is going on with our "extended Family", no matter where we are or what we are doing, no matter where we live or the job we do we sat together at a friends house anxiously counting down the final seconds of 2009, kids in hand, laughing, smiling and loving eachother. As we said our Happy New Years and toasted eachother there was a peace in knowing that although 2009 had a lot of unknowns 2010 will probably be no different and that's okay.    We went home shortly after the ball dropped, put the boys in bed and watched a little bit of the fun "best of 2009" shows before retiring into bed for the... morning. When the day dawn broke we were awakened by the sweet sound of our children announcing the morning of the New Year, what a lovely feeling.
           This year will be our year of New Beginings. I'm not sure where this year will be bringing us, or what we will be doing but as long as we have eachother that will be fine by me.
           We look forward to sharing this New Year with all of you and wish you the Best of the Season and the Best of the Year!!
                                              Welcome 2010